You know your mother is Jewish when:
- She cries at your bris - because you’re not engaged already.
- She shouts “Mazel tov.” - every time she hears some crockery break.
- She does all her Pesach shopping for next Pesach as soon as Passover ends – because she can buy the essential items at sale prices.
- She calls you many times a day before 10am - because she wants to ask you how your day is going.
- She takes an extra suitcase with her on holiday – because where else can she put the hotel’s face cloths, soaps, shampoos, bath oils, shower hats and shoe shiners?
- She cries at your Bar mitzvah - because you’re not engaged already.
- She goes to her doctor for every minor ailment – so she can show your photo to the young single doctors.
- She won’t let you leave home without a coat and some advice on dating – because ‘mother knows best’.
- She takes restaurant leftovers home with her - “I should throw away?”
- She cries on your 21st birthday - because you’re not engaged already.
- She’s serves you chopped liver every week - because just once, when you were young, you told her you loved chopped liver.
- She makes an extra shabbos table setting – because you just might have met your beshert on the way over.
- She gets mad with you if you buy jewellery at full price – because she knows someone who could have got it cheaper in Tel Aviv.
- She encourages you to do whatever you want with your life - as long as it includes grandchildren.
- She’s regularly heard muttering -“Is one grandchild too much to ask for?”